Hi, it’s Patrik Hutzel from INTENSIVECAREHOTLINE.COM where we instantly improve the lives for Families of critically ill Patients in Intensive Care, so that you can make informed decisions, have PEACE OF MIND, real power, real control and so that you can influence decision making fast, even if
you’re not a doctor or a nurse in Intensive Care!
This is another episode of “YOUR QUESTIONS ANSWERED” and in last week’s episode I answered another question from our readers and the question was
My Mother Had a Surgery and Has a History of COPD. Will She Be Able to Recover Soon?
You can check out last week’s question by clicking on the link here.
In this week’s episode of “YOUR QUESTIONS ANSWERED” I want to answer questions from one of my clients Tim as part of my 1:1 consulting and advocacy service! Tim’s
mother had a gastric surgery, has COPD in the ICU and is asking if home care is the best care option for her.
My Mother Had a Surgery and Has a History of COPD. Will the LTAC or Home Care Be Enough For Her Condition?
“You can also check out previous 1:1 consulting and advocacy sessions with me and Tim here.”
PART 1
Patrik: Hi Tim.
Tim: Hi Patrik yeah, sorry about calling you earlier.
Patrik: No, no. It’s fine.
Tim: It’s pretty bad. You walked in and um, me and my partner, and um she wanders, the social work or something… a meeting, a family meeting.
You know and then, I said “Oh what a medical importance?” Like well… you know and oh it was just crazy.
And then she-she was, this social worker was really… ugh. It was just so overwhelming. And um… and she goes, “You’ve got no right to ask for that!” I said,
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Patrik: (laughing)
Tim: I said, “Why can’t I ask you that?”-
Patrik: You have every right. You have every right.
Tim: I remember you saying that, so yeah. And-and I said, “Do you know” I said that “I’m in Sydney, the Sydney of New South Wales?” And she goes, “Oh Well I can’t answer that.” And I said well, I said “Well you need to go find out.” And then she goes, “Oh I’m offended by the way that you are talking to me”. I’ll be honest, I was polite-
Patrik: That’s all right
Tim: I was courteous and then she goes “I’m offended” and she… she almost threatened for me to not go visit my mom. I couldn’t believe it.
Patrik: Yeah, yeah.
Tim: Ah jeez-
Patrik: Look
Tim: … And I’m thinking there’s still pressure on and my stepdad… he’s a bloody drama queen. But between you and me, he’s got a lot of money and he’s been with my mom for 20 years and hates her and he’s got a lot of money and he’s had problems himself with health and that, and my mom nursed him and I think he may have made my mom sick… with the stress and everything. He had a bloody, new bladder put in and then he had a pacemaker put in and all this stuff. He’s 75, and my mom is 69 and my mom has nursed him bloody, the last five years and, and she had laid her heart out, uh, 4 weeks, 5 weeks before she had the operation and she was saying stuff like “Oh You made me sick”-
Patrik: You know what, you know what…
Tim: … and he turned up and she says, “Oh you stress me out” and “You put me down” and-
Patrik: … Okay, okay. I hear you. No, no I hear you… but let’s come-let’s come to what we can do okay. So, you have… so today you didn’t meet with anyone, you just refused?
Tim: Oh, I did and walked out, and they didn’t like it.
Patrik: I wouldn’t worry about that. I don’t, you need to stop worrying about what, you know it’s none of your business what they think about you.
Tim: I hear what you are saying yeah-
Patrik: Its none of your business.
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Tim: Don’t overthink it.
Patrik: No. It’s none of your business what they think about you. It’s their problem, not yours. You, look, there’s one big issue in this situation is you are looking for a solution for your mom, and they are looking for a solution for their ICU. What do I mean by that-
Tim: I tell my mom.
Patrik: Yeah right
Tim: Okay so I tell my mom, oh as soon as I walked in… and I straight away went to my mom and I kissed her and that and I straight away I said to mom. I said “Mom, this is what’s happening, I’ve got a friend named Patrik, I mean, almost down the road at the Hospital now, and um, she started crying and I said “that’s what happened mom, you need to harden up”. I said “you need to get moving and breathing and breathe
Patrik: Right-right-right
Tim: I said “They’re trying to get you out of here mom” I said-
Patrik: Right, right. Okay.
Tim: She started crying and then the stupid social worker came in again and she was all, I said “There’s no family meeting” I said “I’ve told you” Nope, I said “Ill arrange the family meeting, not you” and she says “Well you don’t arrange it”, I said “Well I’ve got to have a say in it “. You know?
Patrik: Absolutely.
Tim: And she goes: “Well you don’t tell me what to do” and I said, “well you don’t tell me what to do “.
Patrik: Yeah
Tim: She goes “I’m offended by the way you’re talking to me”-
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Patrik: That’s all right. Don’t worry about it-don’t worry. Let’s do something practical, so then which doctor are you dealing with this week?
Tim: Uh, Professor Mario, but its’ ICU.
Patrik: No, no I get it, I get it.
The reason I’m asking you is I’ve had dealings with Stamford before, they’re horrible, they’re horrible… right. I’ve-I’ve had clients there before… um that’s why I’m asking, that-that name doesn’t ring a bell, but it doesn’t matter.
Let me ask you this, the Surgeon that operated on her is he still in the picture as well?
Tim: Yes, Professor Mario.
Patrik: Oh, I see. Oh okay, so he’s the surgeon?
Tim: Yep. So, he must turn up, just to be advocating for my mom.
Patrik: Is he doing that? Is he doing that?
Tim: He does but he’s pressured because it’s a public hospital.
Patrik: Sure, okay thanks.
Tim: He’s being pressured by them to follow, underlying cancer but who cares about that. She had aspiration, she shouldn’t have been taken out of ICU… in twelve hours after a major operation.
Patrik: That’s right, that’s right.
Tim: And put downstairs, and then go back up to ICU with aspiration. She didn’t get into the hospital for aspiration.
Patrik: No, I get it. So, that is somebody you need to try and lean on, because… You know, another thing you could be doing is, you could get-
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Tim: He’s a good day. Sorry to cut you off. The professor is a good guy.
Patrik: Okay, good, good.
Tim: He’s on the outside. He gets, sorry, he gets paid by the government obviously-
Patrik: Yeah, I get it-I get it, but what you-what you could do as the next step as well is, you could get her to the private section, you could get her to Stamford private… That would buy you time.
Tim: Really?
Patrik: Yeah. Absolutely. Absolutely because now, even though HCF is paying, she’s taking up a public hospital bed. That… could be used for somebody else right? Whereas in the private sector for HCF it won’t make a difference, but for the ICU it does make a difference.
Tim: Oh, okay.
Patrik: Right, but it doesn’t matter I think what we need to do on Monday is bring up the solution for intensive care at home.
Tim: Yes.
Patrik: Right also bear in mind on Monday, there is probably another doctor, another consultant because they. –
Tim: Yeah. They all different, every time. It’s crazy.
Patrik: … Yeah. Who are you dealing with this week from an ICU level? Do you know, do you have a name?
Tim: Oh…he’s a nightmare. He’s a, not being rude, he’s really rude I said. I said “No, I’m not having a meeting” and he goes arguing with me, I couldn’t believe it!
I couldn’t. I walked in. I just got off a plane, I couldn’t believe it, and he goes, and he couldn’t believe, and he goes “No one’s every asked me for that”. I said, “I want to see the medical report before we have a meeting”. He goes “no..” He goes “No… we will have the meeting and then we will talk about the medical report”-
Patrik: Yeah good, keep standing your ground. Very good.
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Tim: Oh, they didn’t it, they were angry.
Patrik: That doesn’t matter. It doesn’t matter what they like, it’s your mum. I mean it doesn’t really matter what, whether they like it, or they don’t. It’s your mum.
So, um, so yeah that’s good. Keep asking for the medical records. Talk to HCF on Monday.
Tim: Yep.
Patrik: And get an idea over the weekend, do you know where she is at in terms of weaning?
Tim: Well they said-they said yesterday… they done the-the um, this venting.
Patrik: Okay yeah-yeah yeah, yep.
Tim: (coughs) And they did it again this morning but yesterday they did and then this morning I spoke to the nurse. She said, “We can arrest her and all that”. It’s like the third time they did it and now today is the fourth time… but mums got COPD but she’s still awake.
I was telling my mum about you. I said, “I’ve got a friend named Patrik and don’t worry mum, you’re gonna be fine” and she started crying.
Patrik: Right, right.
Tim: … I said, “Stamford hospital”. I said, “These people around here and the nurses out there, on the desk and that” and I said, “Look they don’t care mum, they just want you to get out of here, they want to get rid of you now”. I said, “Because you spend” I said, “Because you’ve spent 11 days now and it’s too much for them, they’re worried about it”. I asked for a copy of what Miko signed, my stepdad.
I hate gifts. I said, “can I get a copy of the-what Miko signed”. I said, “well he just signed a piece of paper.”
“Oh, Oh… I’m not sure can you do that?”. I said, “well he signed it” What? You know?
And then she was so offended, the social worker lady. She was not happy at all.
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Patrik: Yeah wouldn’t worry about it. I’ve-I’ve, this is the third time that I’m dealing with Stamford in the last… probably 18 months. They are a horrible, horrible bunch.
Tim: You know, sorry to cut you off but you know she said Patrik, she said, the lady said, “I’m not a fan of the way that you are talking to me”.
She says, “I might um” and I thought… and there was another guy standing there… I thought, I said, “You know what, this conversation is false because I’ve got no witnesses here”. I said, “I don’t like the way it’s going” and I said, “I’m walking out” and I took the plastic gear on to visit my mom.
Patrik: Yeah sure.
Tim: And um… She wasn’t impressed at all she didn’t even know the rules.
Patrik: I wouldn’t worry about it.
Tim: Really?
Patrik: I wouldn’t worry about it
Tim: She’s probably upsetting my mum.
Patrik: Right, right. That’s no good if she is upsetting your mum and its unprofessional.
Tim: But can she stop me from seeing my mum?
Patrik: No, no, no… I’m le-
Tim: … I didn’t do anything. I wasn’t rude or anything.
Patrik: No, no, no… Unless, you know unless you’re violent or whatever but you not.
Tim: No, not at all!
Patrik: But just then, you know you’re not. Yes, you might not play their game, but because of that they can’t just send you out. That’s rubbish, and I’ve never seen that. I wouldn’t worry about that. Do you know where she’s at in terms of ventilation, how has she gone with the-
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Tim: … They’ve dropped it again. The last time I’ve seen it. It was on 35 last time I seen. I can take some photos and send it to you.
Patrik: That would be good.
Tim: I’m happy to pay whenever.
Patrik: Look, I think, I think what we, I’ll tell you what we need to do Tim.
If you by Monday, we have an idea.
Tim: You’d be fully informed. Sorry to cut you off. Again, I did say, sorry to cut you off again but I wanna…
But she did say “Oh!” I said “no, no…” I said, “Oh. You’re not going to tell me when we’re having a meeting”. And I said, “I’ll tell you”
And I said, “you know I’ve come down, I just got here” and I said um (car beeps) “I’m thinking 2 o’clock Monday”. I said nicely
And she goes “When do you want to do it?”.
I say, well I said “maybe 2 o’clock, Monday”.
Patrik: Mm-hmm (affirmative)-
Tim: … “does that suit you? You tell me and I’ll…” I’m (sighs) I’ve sent my partner up there, um because I said the lady threatened me and the social worker made out that… that I was jeopardising my mum. I said, “Well let’s stop the conversation now”.
Patrik: Yeah.
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Tim: I said, “I’m going to cut it off” I said going to walk away”.
Patrik: Yeah that-that’s a good strategy.
Yeah if you think it could get heated and keep your mum out of it you know, don’t get your mum in a situation where you’re arguing with them, in front of her.
You know if you do go, if it gets heated you’ve got to get away from your mum, that’s not right.
Tim: No, you’re right.
Patrik: That’s no good. But I tell you what we do. So… on Monday I’d be very happy to be in the meeting, over the phone. If-
Tim: You may be doing something at that time.
Patrik: No-no I can make myself available most of the time. The thing is this… I haven’t got much time. Can you send me a picture of the ventilator I
haven’t got much time-
Tim: That’s good I’ll take photos of everything.
Patrik: Right, Right I might see the ventilator and I might tell you “Hey your mom might be off the ventilator by next week. Right, I’-I believe I’m that experienced to tell you “Hey, she’s heading in the right direction” And then you probably won’t even need intensive care at home.
Tim: Nah, look I will sort this out for you, 100% will, I’ll definitely sort you out, but these guys don’t care.
Patrik: No, no they’re horrible.
Tim: They don’t care!
Patrik: No, no they’re horrible.
Tim: Yeah, Yeah-yeah.
Patrik: They’re horrible, that’s why I’m asking. Get me some names who you’re dealing with on an ICU level, I can tell you three names of people I’ve dealt with. There’s one guy Aaron.
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Tim: Yes! He’s Excellent!
Patrik: Is he?
Tim: He’s… oh I thought he was.
Patrik: Okay.
Tim: Well… I don’t know
Patrik: He’s Chinese?
Tim: Yeah, he was honest!
Patrik: Yeah no-no that’s good that’s right. No, I had some horrible experiences with him, but if you think he’s good that’s great!
The 1:1 consulting session will continue in next week’s episode.
