Hi, it’s Patrik Hutzel from INTENSIVECAREHOTLINE.COM, where we instantly improve the lives for Families of critically ill Patients in Intensive Care, so that you can make informed decisions, have peace of mind, real power, real control and so that you can influence decision making fast, even if you’re not a doctor or a nurse in Intensive Care!
In last week’s BLOG I talked about PART 1 of
You don’t know what you don’t know when your loved one is critically ill in Intensive Care! (PART 2)
You can check out last week’s BLOG by clicking on the link here.
In this week’s blog I want to share with you
How to cope when your loved one is critically ill in Intensive Care!
Before I get into today’s topic, I want to share a quote
with you that I wrote on today’s topic and the quote says
Having a loved one critically ill in Intensive Care is one of the biggest challenges you and your family will encounter in your entire lifetime!
In fact, having a loved one critically ill in
Intensive Care is a “once in a lifetime” experience that you can’t afford to be getting wrong!
Knowing how to cope and how to get results when the stakes seem insurmountably high is a
very good life skill to have.
Knowing how to make informed decisions, get peace of mind, control, power and influence when Intensive Care teams have “expert” status, “perceived power” and “perceived authority” is very difficult especially in the absence of good role models and perceived options.
Feeling intimidated by the Intensive Care team and not knowing where to start doing your own research and seeking for your own truth and wisdom is adding more complexity to the situation.
Feeling under pressure by externally imposed deadlines from
Intensive Care teams about life or death decisions is the ultimate negative pinnacle of this worst ever possible nightmare!
Knowing how to cope and knowing where to find help, advocacy, counsel and consulting is going to help you tremendously during this “high stakes” and “once in a lifetime” situation!
So let’s get into today’s topic!
The change in the health status of a family member
Did you know that the change in the health status of a family member is in the top 10 of the most
stressful life events?
This change in a health status of a family member as being one of the most stressful events in life doesn’t refer to critical illness, it just refers to a change in the health status of a family member.
This could be anything, a flue, a broken leg or a mental health issue or something
else.
How do you think “the change in the health status of a family member” compares to a critical illness?
The change in the health status of a family member sounds pretty benign compared to a critical illness, as far as I’m concerned…
Most families in Intensive Care who come to us at INTENSIVECAREHOTLINE.COM do so when their loved one is either
How do those “HIGH STAKES” situations compare to
“the change in the health status of a family member?
Those situations are way more challenging compared to a “change in the health status of a family member” as far as I’m concerned, because those situations are life or death situations!
And they are seemingly situations where you and your family need to find coping
strategies and you need to find them fast!
The good news is that you have come to the right place for the right strategies, advice and advocacy if your loved one is in Intensive Care!
But just as important as the coping strategies are the strategies that get you to talk to and negotiate with the Intensive Care team
on a similar level!
If you are doing what 99% of the families in Intensive Care are doing you will be intimidated by the Intensive Care team and you won’t make informed decisions, get peace of mind, control, power and influence!
In order to cope, you need to believe that you can cope, you need to believe that you can
turn things around and you need to believe that you can speak to the Intensive Care team and get what you want, need and deserve!
Changing your belief system!
Not believing and not acting on any of the above will get you and your family in big trouble!
In order to do so you need to start doing your own research, you need to start acting differently compared to what 99% of the families in Intensive Care are doing and you need to question everything!
You also need to start changing your body language when you’re going into Intensive Care!
Why do you need to change your body language? Because you need to change the vibe you’re giving off!
Don’t walk into Intensive Care like 99% of the families in Intensive Care who don’t cope and who continue to be intimidated by the Intensive Care team.
They walk into Intensive Care with their head down, with their shoulders hanging down, with their backs hunched and they are avoiding strong eye contact!
Related article/video
You really need to think about every aspect when your loved one is critically ill in Intensive Care!
This includes yourself and how you carry yourself, how you talk, how you walk and also if you believe you can have an impact so that you stay in control of your critically
ill loved one’s fate and destiny!
And you may wonder, why I should be the one telling you about how to cope when your loved one is critically ill in Intensive Care?
That’s a fair question to ask and I can assure you that after nearly 20 years Intensive Care Nursing experience in three different countries where I
literally worked with thousands of critically ill Patients and their families, where I also worked as a Nurse Unit Manager in Intensive Care and now in my 1:1 counselling, consulting and advocacy service here at INTENSIVECAREHOTLINE.COM I know of the struggles you and your family are facing
intimately.
I also had to find my own coping strategies whilst working in Intensive Care, especially when dealing with death and dying and other trauma. I know first hand that it’s not easy, but you’ve come to the right place!
To give you more practical advice in order to cope when one of your family members is in
Intensive Care, keep in mind that the Intensive Care team is almost always going to be negative!
Fighting that negativity is one of your biggest challenges and you must never ever give up!
Related article/video:
You also need to know and understand rather quickly that “what you see is not always what you get” in Intensive Care and you need to know and understand that you’re in a “HIGH STAKES” game…
This “HIGH STAKES” game is stacked in the Intensive Care
teams favour, if you don’t know how to “play” and if you do what 99% of the families of families of critically ill Patients in Intensive Care are doing.
Related article/video:
In order
to cope when you have a loved one in Intensive Care, you need to also quickly understand that Intensive Care is a machinery that is finely oiled and you need to know and understand that what’s happening in Intensive Care is mainly driven by what’s happening “BEHIND THE SCENES” in Intensive Care!
What’s happening “BEHIND THE SCENES” in Intensive Care is what’s driving the negativity of the Intensive Care team and it’s also what’s driving the positioning of your critically ill loved one’s diagnosis, prognosis as well as the care and the treatment the Intensive Care team is offering or not
offering!
Therefore, it’s of upmost importance that you’ll get professional help quickly when it comes to positioning your critically ill loved one’s diagnosis, prognosis as well as their care and their
treatment!
If you are failing to do this, the Intensive Care team will stay in control of the meaning and the outcome of your critically ill loved one’s fate and destiny!
The Intensive Care team knows what to say, they know how to say it, they know when to say it and they know what not to say. They have scripted everything way in advance and you have no idea what’s coming next…
They have been doing this for years and they do it day in and day out 365 days 24 hours a day.
If you’re not prepared for this “HIGH STAKES” game and if you’re not doing your own research, change your thinking and your believe system rather quickly, you won’t stand a chance…
You certainly don’t want any of this and that’s why it’s so important that you do your own research fast and that you get professional counselling, consulting and advocacy so that you stay in control of the meaning of the situation,
as well as the fate and destiny of your critically ill loved one!
