MY HUSBAND OF 24 YEARS WAS IN ICU AND DIED! IT WAS HORRIBLE&I THINK HE COULD HAVE LIVED WITH A MORE POSITIVE ICU TEAM!

Published: Mon, 12/07/15

Hi, it’s Patrik Hutzel from intensivecarehotline.com , where we instantly improve the lives of Families of critically ill Patients in Intensive Care, so that you can have peace of mind, real power, real control and so that you can influence decision making fast, even if you’re not a doctor or a nurse in Intensive Care!


This is another episode of “your questions answered” and in last week’s episode I answered another question from our readers and the question last week was


MY PARTNER IS IN INTENSIVE CARE AFTER HE FELL DOWN A CLIFF WITH HIS TRUCK. HE HAS A BRAIN BLEED AND IS NOT WAKING UP! HOW SEVERE IS HIS BRAIN DAMAGE?(PART2)


You can check out the answer to last week’s question by clicking on the link here.

In this week’s episode of “your questions answered” I want to answer another question from one of our readers and the question this week is


MY HUSBAND OF 24 YEARS WAS IN ICU AFTER CARDIAC ARREST AND HE DIED! IT WAS HORRIBLE AND I THINK HE COULD HAVE BEEN SAVED WITH A MORE POSITIVE INTENSIVE CARE TEAM!


Theresa writes


Hi Patrik,


from your experience how long can anoxic coma last for a patient that had a cardiac arrest requiring kidney dialysis from low blood pressure, low potassium, and also had diabetic coma, as well as coronary heart bypass back in 2005.


My husband also suffered from a cardiac arrest, respiratory failure with kidney dialysis, was in anoxic coma for two weeks, eyes opened at 3 days, moved legs arms head, made kissing motion, sucking on tubes, blood pressure and breathing rate went up when I talked to him, held his hand, he sometimes held mine back and pressed with his fingers unto my hand.


He cried tears when I talked about our love and our 5 kids. He had to continue to do almost daily kidney dialysis which would bring his blood pressures down and had to be put on pressure medication to treat his low blood pressure.


He opened his eyes by day three, he turned his head and looked towards me tried to speak but had a tracheostomy in his throat.


Unfortunately the Intensive Care team was very negative from the start and kept pushing for withdrawal of care, of which I refused and said I wanted full care and I demanded a transfer to the best hospital, best rehabilitation and that I would always stand by my husband of 24 years.


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We were so in love.

Well my adult step daughter gave permission for removal of life support behind my back and he passed away.


I am devastated, because I know he could have survived with my help and love, and with better care from a more caring ICU.


About how long can it take to wake from anoxic coma, he had the hypothermic cool down, on kidney dialysis, was a coronary heart patient. I loved him so much, he was my world. Please email with answers thanks.


Theresa


Hi Theresa,


I am very sorry to hear what you and your husband went through while he was in Intensive Care.


I believe there is barely anything else in life that can be more traumatising than losing a loved one in such dire and traumatic circumstances, where most families feel like they have no PEACE OF MIND no control, no power and no influence!

From what you are describing, it sounds like your husband was very sick after he had a cardiac arrest, CABG, respiratory failure, kidney dialysis and was in an anoxic coma.


I can empathise with you that you felt the Intensive Care team was very negative and surely it’s something that I have seen over and over again that Intensive Care teams are overtly negative when it comes to perceived end of life situations.

They do this for a number of reasons including but not limited to

  • Their financial interests
  • Their bed management strategies
  • Their medical research interests
  • Their perception about you, your family and your critically ill loved one (powerful vs not so powerful)

Related article:

How MEDICAL RESEARCH DOMINATES your critically ill loved one’s diagnosis and prognosis, as well as the CARE and TREATMENT your loved one IS RECEIVING or NOT RECEIVING!


It’s very sad to hear that the Intensive Care team was very negative and you obviously didn’t feel supported through this traumatic experience, especially since you loved your husband very much.


As it relates to the anoxic coma that your husband was in, I assume that he must have sustained some sort of brain damage from the cardiac arrest that might have led to hypoxia in the brain.


In any case, given that your husband responded to you with holding hands, opening eyes etc… I am surprised that the Intensive Care team didn’t take those signs as positive signs.


In any case, “waking up” after an induced coma and after an anoxic coma can take time and often “waking up” is not linear and “waking up” is more like switching on a light with a dimmer, as opposed to a light switch.


This often takes time and it sounds to me like the Intensive Care team wasn’t prepared to give your husband a fair go.


They must have done CT scans of his brain or at least performed EEG’s in order to determine the function/ damage of his brain.


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However, especially with brain injuries or brain damage, Intensive Care teams can be very quick in wanting to “withdraw treatment” or “limit life support” as they are simply not prepared to put in the time, the effort, the resources (financial as well as emotional) and it seems to be a lot easier to focus on the next admissions that are already waiting for precious, scarce, expensive and “in-demand” Intensive Care beds!


It’s often a lot easier for the Intensive Care team to “sell” a “withdrawal of treatment” or a “limitation of life support” as being “IN THE BEST INTEREST” of a critically ill Patient rather than focusing on best care and best treatment.


I can very much relate to your disappointment there as I have seen similar situations over and over again!


By all accounts it sounds like your husband was very sick, however as long as there is life there is hope and one should never assume that just because someone is very sick that they can’t survive critical illness in Intensive Care!


And just because a critically ill Patient has some sort of brain damage doesn’t mean that they can’t survive or recover.


It certainly can be more challenging after cardiac arrest and dialysis dependency.


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It would have been good if you had contacted me at the time when it happened and we certainly could have guided you and pointed you in the right direction so that you could have had peace of mind,, control, power and influence!


At the very least you could have had an end of life situation on your terms and not on the Intensive Care team’s terms!


At the best we could have helped you to get a better outcome and we could have helped you to turn the tables in your favour!  Irrespective of the outcome!


We could have helped you to get more bargaining power for what you wanted!


It’s a big issues that Intensive Care team’s always believe that “they know what’s best” or that “they know” what’s “in the best interest” of a critically ill Patient!

The truth of the matter is that whenever the Intensive Care team hints towards ” the best interest” of a critically ill Patient they are talking about their own best interest, such as their financial interests, their bed management strategies and their medical research interests!


There are also some very distinct questions you should have asked whenever Intensive Care teams are talking about “withdrawal of treatment”, “withdrawal of life support” or “futility of treatment”!


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Also, Families of critically ill Patients in Intensive Care often lack the awareness on how behaviour of Intensive Care teams can be ingrained and inherently negative.


Families of critically ill Patients in Intensive Care tend to be so far outside of their comfort zone that they simply don’t know how to interpret the behaviour of Intensive Care teams!


Related article:

WHAT THE DOCTORS AND THE NURSES BEHAVIOUR IN INTENSIVE CARE IS TELLING YOU ABOUT THE CULTURE IN A UNIT!


And sometimes there are clear signs that a critically ill Patient isn’t recovering and sometimes withdrawing or removing treatment may be the right thing to do.

It’s difficult to say in retrospect and hindsight is always a good thing.


It sounds to me like you are seeking closure of this very traumatic period in your life and it sounds like you are still grieving. And that’s perfectly fine. Take as much time as you need and use the resources that are at your disposal.


If I can help you on this journey I will.

I hope this helps Theresa.


I think my audience will benefit from what you have to share and they can learn from it.


Wishing you and your family the very best

Patrik


Get ONE on ONE consulting with Patrik via Skype, over the phone or email(click on the link)


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PS

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Your Friend


Patrik Hutzel

Critical Care Nurse

Founder& Editor

WWW.INTENSIVECAREHOTLINE.COM