STARING INTO THE ABYSS OF DEATH WHEN YOUR LOVED ONE IS CRITICALLY ILL IN INTENSIVE CARE!

Published: Mon, 07/13/15

Hi, it’s Patrik Hutzel from INTENSIVECAREHOTLINE.COM , where we INSTANTLY improve the lives of Families of critically ill Patients in Intensive Care, so that you can have PEACE OF MIND, real power, real control and so that you can influence decision making fast, even if you’re not a doctor or a nurse in Intensive Care!

In last week’s BLOG I’ve shown you

“HOW TO GET RESULTS WHEN YOUR LOVED ONE IS CRITICALLY ILL IN INTENSIVE CARE!”

You can check out last week’s BLOG by clicking on the link here.

In this week’s BLOG I want to share with you

"STARING INTO THE ABYSS OF DEATH WHEN YOUR LOVED ONE IS CRITICALLY ILL IN INTENSIVE CARE!"

Before I get into today’s topic I want to share a quote that I wrote on today’s topic and the quote says

“Staring into the abyss of death is something we all have to do sooner or later. The sooner we come to terms with the reality that our days on this planet are finite and the sooner we realise that death is part of life, the sooner we can embrace the realities around us, deal with them effectively and learn, develop or discover strategies that help us to manage our emotions and put us in charge of our own destiny!”

In this week’s blog, I want to share with you how to deal with death and dying more effectively, when your loved one is critically ill in Intensive Care!

Now, if your loved one is critically ill in Intensive Care and is either

Sooner or later you and your family will inevitably have to contemplate whether the situation your loved one is in is a situation where your loved one’s critical illness could kill them.

This is usually not a comfortable situation and it’s not a comfortable thought that you have to contemplate that death is a real possibility that your critically ill loved one has to face!

I remember very vividly when me and my family lost my uncle at the age of 51 in Intensive Care when I was a teenager. It was horrible and the sadness and the loss is still present to this day!

It’s one of the most challenging situations one can encounter in their entire lifetime.

I also very vividly remember when I looked after my first Patient in Intensive Care more than 15 years ago who died. It was on a nightshift when I looked after a young 17 year old teenager whose life was taken after a car accident.

His parents were there at the bedside when their child died and I felt absolutely helpless and vulnerable.

Over the many years in Intensive Care I learned how to deal with death and I also learned how to deal with the fear of death!

Learning to deal with death and the fear of death can be challenging but it can be done!

I learned that death is part of life and that we need to embrace the concept of it!

I now no longer fear death because I have seen so many people transitioning from life to death that I now no longer fear death.

I know that just because I no longer fear death doesn’t help you and your family in the short term.

However after more than 15 years Intensive Care nursing in three different countries, where I also worked for 5 years as a Nurse Unit Manager in Intensive Care, I have seen over and over again that Families of critically ill Patients in Intensive Care are totally overwhelmed whenever they have to contemplate the death of their critically ill loved one!

I can see and hear in the tone of their voice and in their body language that they are totally unprepared and that they are scared shitless…

Make meaning out of the situation

One of the biggest problems that our first world society in this day and age is facing that we never talk about death in a rational and effective manner. We only talk or hear about death in a sensationalised manner on the news that sparks fear and anger.

We never hear that death is just a process that is part of life, just as birth is part of life!

I know that staring into the abyss of death when your loved one is critically ill in Intensive Care is frightening, challenging and I also know how vulnerable you feel during this trying time!

But again, in order to come to terms with whatever challenging situation you are dealing with whilst your loved one is critically ill in Intensive Care you have to make meaning out of the situation.

Recommended resources:

THE 5 THINGS FAMILIES DO WHO HAVE PEACE OF MIND, ARE IN CONTROL, FEEL POWERFUL AND INFLUENCE DECISION MAKING FAST, WHILST YOUR LOVED ONE IS CRITICALLY ILL IN INTENSIVE CARE!

PEACE OF MIND, CONTROL, POWER AND INFLUENCE EVEN IN THE MOST CHALLENGING OF CIRCUMSTANCES THAT YOU, YOUR FAMILY AND YOUR CRITICALLY ILL LOVED ONE COULD POSSIBLY FACE IN INTENSIVE CARE

You and your family also need to find peace of mind, strength and meaning in this situation that usually only comes after you have contemplated the life of your critically ill loved one very carefully.

Usually there is often meaning in tragedy and there is often meaning that only you can give to this situation!

Challenges, setbacks and tragedies are generally happening for a reason and again only you and your family will know why the universe has brought to you this challenge!

Find the reason behind this tragedy, gain strength and manage the situation appropriately!

Get PEACE OF MIND, control, power and influence even if your loved one is dying!

Related article:

A five step BLUEPRINT for DYING WELL and with DIGNITY in Intensive Care!

And also get PEACE OF MIND, control, power and influence when the Intensive Care team is telling you that your critically ill loved one is dying when you think that they are not!

Trust your gut feeling one way or another, because your gut feeling never lies.

Your job is to control and manage the situation irrespective of what the Intensive Care team is telling you!

After all it’s you and your family who need to live with the consequences of whatever this “ONCE IN LIFETIME” challenge is bringing you!

And as you have heard me talking about on this blog before, the Intensive Care team is often overtly negative, they are quick in painting a “doom and gloom” picture and they can be very quick in positioning your critically ill loved one’s diagnosis and prognosis in a negative light!

Intensive Care teams often do this for a number of reasons, but mainly due to

financial reasons ($$$), as they weigh up your critically ill loved one’s care and treatment according to their financial budget

for their bed management interests. Again Intensive Care beds are in high demand and therefore prolonged and expensive treatment might not be in the “best interest” of the Intensive Care Unit

the things that are happening “BEHIND THE SCENES” in Intensive Care. Again, Intensive Care is a highly political environment where people are competing for limited resources and therefore care and treatment of critically ill Patients can be highly controversial

Medical research interests. Medical research attracts 5, 6, 7 or even 8 figure funding $$$ per year into Intensive Care Units and therefore some Patients might get prolonged and preferred treatment because they are enrolled into a medical research study without Patients and families knowing, let alone having given consent for it! Other critically ill Patients in Intensive Care who don’t qualify for medical research, may therefore not be as interesting for the Intensive Care team to look after and therefore a “withdrawal of treatment” or a “limitation of treatment” may be suggested to you and your family as “being in the best interest” for your critically ill loved one!

Recommended resources:

THE 10 THINGS YOU DIDN’T KNOW ARE HAPPENING BEHIND THE SCENES IN INTENSIVE CARE THAT HOLD YOU BACK FROM HAVING PEACE OF MIND, CONTROL, POWER AND INFLUENCE, WHILST YOUR LOVED ONE IS CRITICALLY ILL IN INTENSIVE CARE!

THE 5 THINGS YOU NEED TO KNOW IF THE MEDICAL TEAM IN INTENSIVE CARE WANTS TO “LIMIT TREATMENT”, WANTS TO “WITHDRAW TREATMENT” OR “WITHDRAW LIFE SUPPORT” OR WANTS TO ISSUE A “DNR” (DO NOT RESUSCITATE) OR AN “NFR” (NOT FOR RESUSCITATION) ORDER FOR YOUR CRITICALLY ILL LOVED ONE!

INTENSIVE CARE’S HIDDEN SECRETS AND MYTHS BEHIND THE SCENES, THAT THE INTENSIVE CARE TEAM KEEPS AWAY FROM YOU AT ANY COST AND OTHER FAMILIES OF CRITICALLY ILL PATIENTS HAVE NO CLUE ABOUT THOSE HIDDEN SECRETS!

In any case, at INTENSIVECAREHOTLINE.COM we help you deal with all challenges when your loved one is critically ill in Intensive Care and we help you to get PEACE OF MIND, control, power and influence, even if your loved one is dying!

Think about it, if your critically ill loved one is either

you certainly don’t want to leave things up to chance and you certainly don’t want to be like 99% of families of critically ill Patients in Intensive Care who have no PEACE OF MIND, no control, no power and no influence!

You need to deal with the realities at hand and you and your family need to effectively deal with all possibilities and you and your family need to be prepared whether your loved one survives or is going to die!

Your friend

Patrik Hutzel

If you have a question you need answered, just hit reply to this email or send it to me at support@intensivecarehotline.com

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long-term stays in Intensive Care

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withdrawal of treatment situations and/or perceived medical futility

what to do if your critically ill loved one is THREATENED with an "NFR" (Not for resuscitation) or "DNR" (Do not resuscitate) order

severe head and brain injuries (including traumatic brain injuries and stroke)

What's happening "BEHIND THE SCENES" in Intensive Care and how it limits your ability to have PEACE OF MIND, control, power and influence

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