HOW TO DESIGN your critically ill loved one's DESTINY! & Laura's question PART 2

Published: Mon, 06/16/14

Hi, it's Patrik Hutzel from INTENSIVECAREHOTLINE.COM , where we instantly improve the lives of Families of critically ill Patients in Intensive Care, so that you can have PEACE OF MIND, real power, real control and so that you can influence decision making fast, even if you're not a doctor or a nurse in Intensive Care!

In last week's BLOG I've shown you Why having a loved one critically ill in Intensive Care is "a once in a lifetime" situation and why you can't afford getting it wrong!"

You can check out last week's blog by clicking on the link here!

In this week's BLOG I want to show you HOW TO DESIGN your critically ill loved one's DESTINY!

Having a loved one critically ill in Intensive Care is nothing short of being a challenge and it's nothing short of being a "ONCE IN A LIFETIME" experience!

And the level of fear, frustration, stress, struggle and vulnerability you and your Family are experiencing leave you without PEACE OF MIND, without control, without power and without influence.

In fact it's the last thing on your mind and if you are like 99% of Families of critically ill Patients in Intensive Care it's not even on your radar. This is even more important if your critically ill loved one is in one of the following situations such as

They are very unstable and in a very critical condition
They are in a life threatening situation
They are in Intensive Care for long-term treatments and long-term stays
in Intensive Care with severe head and brain injuries
They are approaching their end of life in Intensive Care

After having worked with literally thousands of critically ill Patients and their Families in Intensive Care in more than 15 years Intensive Care nursing in three different countries, I have seen and learned that especially in those difficult and challenging situations you, your Family and your critically ill loved one are at the mercy of the Intensive Care team and PEACE OF MIND, control, power and influence are not even words you could remotely think of when your loved one is critically ill in Intensive Care!

It's not your fault

And I know it's not your fault, because you and your Family tend be paralysed by fear and you and your Family have also been wrongly conditioned by society to trust Hospitals, to trust the Intensive Care team and to basically have "BLIND FAITH"!

Furthermore, on a conscious or on a subconscious level you and your Family also feel intimidated by the Intensive Care team.

Families of critically ill Patients tend to be lost in those situations and they don't what to do

What's even more important is that you and your Family in those situations are lost and you have no idea what to do and you have no idea that you and your Family can have PEACE OF MIND, control, power and influence if your loved one is critically ill in Intensive Care if only somebody showed you how you can powerfully position yourself during this "ONCE IN A LIFETIME" challenge!

Once you know that you can have PEACE OF MIND, control, power and influence then the next step for you and your Family is to design your critically ill loved one's destiny, irrespective of the challenges that you, your Family and your critically ill loved one are facing!

How do you do that and how can you DESIGN your critically ill loved one's destiny whilst they are in Intensive Care? The reality and the fact of the matter is that if your critically ill loved one is in Intensive Care and they are facing one of those massive challenges where they are

very unstable and in a very critical condition
in a life threatening situation
in Intensive Care for long-term treatments and long-term stays
in Intensive Care with severe head and brain injuries
approaching their end of life in Intensive Care

you need to know that in those challenging and difficult situations the Intensive Care team's concern more often than not are things like

1) will we make money if we continue treating your critically ill loved one or will we lose money if we continue treating your critically ill loved one?

2) Do we need the ICU bed that your critically ill loved one is currently occupying for other admissions? Which one do we want/ need to prioritise?

3) Does the Intensive Care team think that your critically ill loved one will have "future" and "perceived" "Quality of life"?

As a matter of fact, the Intensive Care team often bases their decision making on a triple hypothesis 1)"future"(is a hypothesis about what's about to come), 2)"perceived"(an individual's or a group's perception about something that may or may not reflect reality) and 3)"Quality of life"(something that can not be measured or quantified and is up to an individual's judgment and is therefore a hypothesis as well).

Therefore the Intensive Care team often bases their decision about the care and treatment they offer or don't offer on their "perceived" and "future" outlook on the "Quality of life" of your critically ill loved one outside of Intensive Care, which is an area the Intensive Care team has really no idea about, because they are the experts in Intensive Care and they are not the experts outside of Intensive Care and they generally speaking have no idea how well your loved one will do after their stay in Intensive Care and in Hospital.

4) Medical research!

One of the biggest interests of the Intensive Care team is medical research.

In fact, the Intensive Care team is often so heavily involved in medical research that the care and treatment, as well as the positioning of your critically ill loved one's prognosis and diagnosis are heavily dependent on the medical research interests of the Intensive Care team and the Intensive Care Unit.

As a matter of fact, medical research tends to attract 5, 6 or even 7 figure funding $$$ per year and is therefore a major force behind treatment and care offered and given to critically ill Patients in Intensive Care!

For example, if your critically ill loved one has been in Intensive Care for four weeks with a severe head and brain injury and is not "waking up", you and your Family might get told that a "withdrawal of treatment" or a "limitation of treatment" might be"in the best interest" of your critically ill loved one!

What the Intensive Care team is really saying when you read between the lines

What the Intensive Care team is really saying is that they don't want to spend any more time, resources and emotional energy and they also think that your critically ill loved one's case may not fall into a medical research category.

Therefore they deem your critically ill loved one's case as a case that's not of any interest for the Intensive Care team and they therefore reallocate those resources to other Patients that they deem as financially viable and where they can continue doing medical research.

On the other hand if your critically ill loved one is really approaching their end of life and is really dying in Intensive Care, the Intensive Care team may suggest to you and your Family that a continuation of treatment would be "in the best interest" of your critically ill loved one and they may suggest that your critically ill loved one has a real chance of recovery, only to find that the positioning of the Intensive Care team is driven by their medical research interests and they want to continue doing ]medical research on your critically ill loved one, therefore unnecessarily prolonging your critically ill loved one's suffering!

The Intensive Care team's interests are manyfold and often reflect what's happening "BEHIND THE SCENES"!

The bottom line and the fact of the matter is that the Intensive Care team's interests are manyfold and they therefore heavily depend on the politics, the dynamics, the power play, the intrigue, the psychology and the hidden agendas in an Intensive Care Unit.

The way the Intensive Care team frames and positions your critically ill loved one's prognosis and diagnosis therefore heavily depends on what's happening "BEHIND THE SCENES"!

What's happening "BEHIND THE SCENES" is an area that the Intensive Care team is trying to hide away from you at any cost and the last thing they want is for you and for your Family that you even get a glimpse about happening "BEHIND THE SCENES"!

The reality and the fact of the matter are that once you know what's happening "BEHIND THE SCENES" that's when YOU CAN DESIGN your critically ill loved one's DESTINY!

Once again the Intensive Care team is very shrewd and adept when it comes to the positioning of your critically ill loved one's prognosis and diagnosis and they will twist and turn your critically ill loved one's prognosis and diagnosis according to their liking and according to their mostly hidden agenda!

The reality and the fact of the matter is that if you want to DESIGN your critically ill loved one's DESTINY irrespective of the challenges that your critically ill loved one is facing and irrespective of what's happening "BEHIND THE SCENES" you and your Family need to be very different from the other 99% of Families of critically ill Patients in Intensive Care who don't have PEACE OF MIND, control, power and influence!

Once you and your Family know what questions you need to ask, once you and your Family know what's happening "BEHIND THE SCENES", once you know and understand the politics, the dynamics, the power play, the intrigue, the psychology and the hidden agendas in an Intensive Care Unit, that's when you know HOW TO DESIGN your critically ill loved one's DESTINY!

Also, check out our "YOUR QUESTIONS ANSWERED" section

where I answer all of YOUR questions

http://intensivecarehotline.com/category/questions/

In this week I answer the second part of Laura's question who is one of our readers and the question this week is

My Dad is in ICU after a SUBDURAL HAEMATOMA, he's had MULTIPLE SURGERIES and he's NOT WAKING UP! Help!"(PART 2)

This is another episode of "YOUR QUESTIONS ANSWERED" and in last week's episode I answered another question from one of our readers and the question last week was PART 1 of this week's question

My Dad is in ICU after a SUBDURAL HAEMATOMA, he's had MULTIPLE SURGERIES and he's NOT WAKING UP! Help!"(PART 1)

You can check out the answer to last week's question here.

In this week's episode of "YOUR QUESTIONS ANSWERED" I want to continue with last week's question as our reader Laura had more questions and comments. Therefore I want to shed more light on Laura's Dad's situation in today's episode of "YOUR QUESTIONS ANSWERED"

My Dad is in ICU after a SUBDURAL HAEMATOMA, he's had MULTIPLE SURGERIES and he's NOT WAKING UP! Help!"(PART 2)

Laura from Ireland

Hi Patrik,

I cannot express how grateful myself and my family are for the lengthy e-mail you sent back, I've sent it to my sister and read it to my mum and we all got great comfort and insight from what you said. It really has made a world of difference to know the inner workings of an Intensive Care Unit and to know that we are not at their mercy as we are now armed with all this information.

I've also read your INSTANT IMPACT report and as you have outlined, there is definitely a difference between the attitude of the neurosurgeon and the head of ICU who appears to have already made his mind up about my dad's prognosis after just 6 weeks, which in neurological terms seems quite a short period of time to us!

He even started talking about "not resuscitating" in our family meeting, at which point the neurosurgeon in fact interrupted to say dad's heart is as strong as an Ox, so not something we need to even think about right now, but it seems this is a clear indication of this doctors frame of mind and negative perspective!

You are certainly right about following your gut instinct as we are sure our dad will wake up, given time, so we had a meeting with the head nurse in ICU to ensure there is now only positive attitudes in dad's room and that as a family we are very aware of how serious dad's situation is but that we are full sure he will recover. This appears to have made quite a difference and we feel a much better attitude towards us and dad, although to be fair most of the nurses have been absolutely fantastic since the beginning and we certainly can't fault the medical care he is receiving.

In relation to the Factor 13 deficiency, we had no idea about this until the results of the blood tests they took after surgery came back this week. The neurosurgeon asked a haematologist to get involved as he couldn't figure out why there was a re-bleed and also the fact that there was no major trauma that we could identify that caused dad's bleed in the first place as his lifestyle (not a heavy drinker) doesn't lend itself to a Subdural haematoma based on anything other than some kind of trauma to the head.

In the latest MRI the only factor was the fact that the midline shift hadn't yet fully corrected itself, the neurosurgeon thought there was still a possible 4 to 5 millimetre shift still to happen, this MRI was just over 2 weeks ago now, so he is planning another MRI for this week. An EEG was performed a few days ago but we haven't yet been given the results, however the neurosurgeon didn't think it would show up much and mentioned the fact it wouldn't be completely normal while dad remains in a coma, but we will chase up these results tomorrow (it is a Bank Holiday in Ireland so not many doctors about!)

Thank you for the advice on stimulus, we are really hoping dad gets moved to a room on a ward soon which will have a window, so that he can get some natural light and fresh air. At the moment he gets washed and turned and mouth care 3 times per day and he is also on a special bed to prevent bedsores. He also receives physio every day but as far as I'm aware he only receives the intense physio (which sits him on the edge of the bed) once per week, do you think we should ask for this to be increased?

Thanks again for the time you have taken to give me such a full and inspiring reply, it really is great work that you are doing to inform families who find themselves in this very difficult situation.

All the best

Laura

Hi Laura,

Thank you for your email and for your kind words!

Your Dad needs to get out in a chair daily, everything else is not good enough, it is poor nursing care and very poor Physiotherapy.

By keeping him in bed the Intensive Care team is framing his case to their "liking" and they start believing that he won't be able to get out of bed and they therefore have a point in case.

Good care includes mobilising Patients into a chair daily even in Intensive Care, sometimes even when Patients are ventilated.

There is also no reason why he can't have a shower at least twice a week. Mobilisation and showering is possible in Intensive care without any problems.

Don't accept anything less than that.

Keep asking for what you and your Family want and don't accept anything less!

On a conscious or subconscious level the Intensive Care team thinks they "know what's best" for your father and for your family and they may think that it might be in "his best interest" to not "wake up", as they will be discussing his case in their meetings and handovers.

As an extra tip, try to be there during a handover and listen to what they are saying to each other. If they are trying to send you out when they hand over, ask them if they have anything to hide.

In the meantime, keep asking for what you and your family want and don't accept anything less!

Also keep in mind, whilst it's an emotional roller coaster for you and your family, many Intensive Care teams are also not prepared to "take that ride" with you, because it's emotionally draining for them as well and they may therefore not be prepared to "go full throttle". Knowing that this is how they might feel about your Dad's and your situation might also help you to push things in a direction that you and your Family feel is the right thing to do.

It often pays dividends to be "difficult and demanding" and if your Dad won't wake up you still know you've done your best and you can have at least "PEACE OF MIND"!

Thanks again Laura and I wish you and your Family all the very best!

If you want your questions answered just hit reply to this email or email me at support@intensivecarehotline.com and I'll answer your questions!

Also keep an eye out for our upcoming product launch in the next couple of months! We are NOW finalizing our first product that will help Families of critically ill Patients MASTER, take control, have power and influence in all of the most challenging situations in Intensive Care, even if their loved one is dying!

The product will be an "IN-DEPTH" education product for Families of critically ill Patients in Intensive Care and a SHORTCUT for Families to have PEACE OF MIND, control, power& influence! The focus of the education product will be on PEACE OF MIND, control, power and influence during the following situations in Intensive Care

long-term stays in Intensive Care
end- of- life situations
Family meetings with the Intensive Care team
withdrawal of treatment situations and/or perceived medical futility
severe head and brain injuries

The product will be made available in Ebook, Video and Audio format so that our Customers

can consume the product in their chosen medium!

If you have any questions about our upcoming products or if you have any suggestions

please let me know at support@intensivecarehotline.com

Your Friend

Patrik Hutzel

Critical Care Nurse

Founder& Editor

WWW.INTENSIVECAREHOTLINE.COM

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