Hi, it's Patrik Hutzel from INTENSIVECAREHOTLINE.COM , where we instantly improve the lives of Families of critically ill Patients in Intensive Care, so that you can have PEACE OF MIND, real power, real control and so that you can influence decision making fast, even if you're not a doctor or a nurse in Intensive Care!

In last week's blog I've shown you "The 4 ways you can overcome insurmountable obstacles whilst your loved one is critically ill in Intensive Care!" You can read, watch or listen to the update here.

In this week's blog I want to show you How to STOP being INTIMIDATED by the Intensive Care team and how you will be SEEN as EQUALS

One of the biggest challenges whilst you have a family member or a close friend in Intensive Care is the perceived power imbalance between you, your Family and the Intensive Care team.

After all, Intensive Care is a scary environment and it's an environment that you most likely got to know without any preparation and/or prior knowledge.

And after the initial shock has worn off and after the awareness has kicked in that you now have to deal with this scary, frightening, intimidating and challenging environment, you have probably also realized that you, your Family and your critically ill loved one are now in a position where you are dependent on other people.

The Intensive Care team is "calling the shots" so to speak and they are used to make decisions in an environment where you and your Family feel challenged, overwhelmed, vulnerable, stressed and out of your comfort zone.

"The Elephant in the room" or how the Intensive Care team is making decisions

You and your Family are often so overwhelmed by the events that are happening all around you and you have no idea and no insights about how the Intensive Care team is making decisions and is coming to conclusions.

You and your Family consciously or unconsciously also feel intimidated by the Intensive Care team and your perceptions about the Intensive Care team's perceived power and authority will most likely have taken over. After all this is how most societies think and operate, that a doctor or a nurse knows "what's best" in an environment like Intensive Care. After all you and your Family are dealing with smart, educated and professional people, right?

Those smart, educated and professional people within the Intensive Care team are also letting you know whether through their tone of voice, through their body language and just simply through their actions that they have all the control, power and influence in this situation.

Again, this is how they've been trained and conditioned to behave. Their decision making power and authority is rarely been questioned by Families of critically ill Patients in Intensive Care and that's a big challenge that you and your Family need to overcome!

PEACE OF MIND, control, power and influence are critical for you and your Family

The reality is that if you, your Family and your critically ill loved one are finding yourself in one of the most challenging situations in your life such as having a loved one critically ill in Intensive Care you want to and you need to have as much PEACE OF MIND, power, control and influence as possible.

The reality and the fact of the matter is that if your loved one is critically ill in Intensive Care and is facing a situation where they are

• very unstable and in a very critical condition
• in a life threatening situation
• in Intensive Care for long-term treatments and long-term stays
• approaching their end of life in Intensive Care

The wheels that are in motion "behind the scenes" and the wheels that are in motion where and how the Intensive Care team is positioning your critically ill loved one's diagnosis and prognosis in a certain light that suits the Intensive Care team's agenda, remains mainly hidden from you and from your Family.

Don't be oblivious and "blind" to the things that are happening "behind the scenes" in Intensive Care

The thing is that in more than 15 years Intensive Care nursing in three different countries, I have seen and learned things that you and your Family have no idea about. You and your Family are mainly oblivious to the fact that the Intensive Care team has worked out their positioning way before you have even set a foot into the ICU and especially in challenging end of life situations, in situations where your loved one is very critical and/or unstable and/or if your loved one is in Intensive Care for a long-term stay, you certainly don't want to be like 99% of Families of critically ill Patients who have no idea about what's really happening in Intensive Care "behind the scenes".

Those Families of critically ill Patients have no PEACE OF MIND, no control, no power and no influence and the life and the well being of their critically ill loved one is in the hands of the Intensive Care team only.

Remember, you, your Family and your critically ill loved one are in a "once in a lifetime" situation where the level of control, power and influence you and your Family have, will directly impact on the outcome of your critically ill loved one's stay in Intensive Care.

The reality and the fact of the matter is that you want to belong into that tiny little 1% bracket of Families of critically ill patients in Intensive Care who have PEACE OF MIND, control, power and influence.

You see, the Intensive Care team will not shed any light on how they are coming to conclusions and how they are making decisions and they certainly won't tell you and your Family what's happening "behind the scenes".

Most decisions made by the Intensive Care team, especially when your loved one is in one of those challenging situations such as

• a critical and unstable situation
• a long-term stay in Intensive Care
• a life threatening situation
• a perceived end of life situation

If you and your Family are like 99% of Families of critically ill Patients in Intensive Care you won't question the authority of the Intensive Care team, you won't take look "behind the scenes" and you just take everything for "FACE VALUE". As you know by now, the very life and the very recovery and the very well being of your critically ill loved one very much depends on the level of insights, power, control and influence you have and that will lead you directly to PEACE OF MIND.

Start asking the right questions instead and take a look "behind the scenes"

So in order for you to stop being intimidated by the Intensive Care team and in order for you and for your Family to be seen as equals you need to know that most decisions in Intensive Care, made by the Intensive Care team are often based on

• the perceived financial viability of your loved one's stay in Intensive Care. Or in other terms, does the Intensive Care team think they will make money or will they lose money if they continue treating your critically ill loved one
• the bed status in the Intensive Care Unit and how many other admissions are waiting for a scarce, precious and expensive Intensive Care bed that implicitly or explicitly weighs up your loved one's stay against other potential admissions
• how the Intensive Care team views you and your Family. Do you and your Family have an understanding about what's really going on? Are you and your Family asking the right questions or do you take everything for FACE VALUE? Are you and your Family intimidated by the Intensive Care team, because the unfortunate reality is that most Families of critically ill Patients in Intensive Care are intimidated by the Intensive Care team

How you and your Family are perceived is directly linked to the care your critically ill loved one is receiving or not receiving in Intensive Care

• RESEARCH activities in the Intensive Care Unit. RESEARCH is a multi-million dollar $$$ industry and even more so in Intensive Care.5,6 or 7 figure funding $$$ is going into RESEARCH every year in Intensive Care Units so that Doctors and Nurses can publish papers about their RESEARCH activities in Intensive Care. Guess who they do the RESEARCH on? They do it on critically ill Patients in Intensive Care and the unfortunate and grim reality is that resources are often allocated, depending on RESEARCH activities. The fact of the matter is that one way or another your critically ill loved one's case and treatment is being weighed against criteria that goes way beyond your critically ill loved one's prognosis and diagnosis. For example, if the Intensive Care team thinks that your critically ill loved one doesn't fall into a RESEARCH category then they may suggest a "withdrawal" or a "limitation of treatment" is "in the best interest" of your critically ill loved one and therefore the Intensive Care team wants to focus on treating other Patients where they continue their RESEARCH activities, publish their papers and therefore attract more 5,6 or even 7 figure Dollar $$$ funding for more RESEARCH activities. The same applies if your critically ill loved one is actually dying and therefore their suffering is prolonged. The Intensive Care team may suggest to you and your Family to continue treatment because your critically ill loved one is falling into a RESEARCH category and therefore a continuation of treatment is in the "best interest" of the Intensive Care team and it may unnecessarily prolong the suffering of your critically ill loved one, whilst the Intensive Care may give you false hope with the same end result of your loved one dying.

It's "BEHIND THE SCENES" where all the decisions are being made

So as you can see, decision making in Intensive Care, when it comes to difficult situations is never linear and/or straight forward. It depends heavily on what's happening "behind the scenes" and it's dependent on the Intensive Care team's positioning, the politics, the intrigue, the psychology, the power play and the dynamics. Most of all if you don't know and if you don't quickly learn any of that stuff you will continue being intimidated by the Intensive Care team, because they have the upper hand and they keep you at arm's length if you let them...

Related Articles:

• Follow this proven 5 step process on how to be in control and influential if your loved one is a long-term Patient in Intensive Care or is facing treatment limitations in Intensive Care"
• How to make sure that "what you see is always what you get" whilst your loved one is critically ill inIntensive Care
• Family meetings in Intensive Care or the Elephant in the room
• The 5 reasons why you need to be difficult and demanding when your loved one is critically ill in Intensive Care
• How can I be prepared, be mentally strong and be well positioned for a Family meeting with the Intensive Care team?(PART 1)
• How can I be prepared, be mentally strong and be well positioned for a Family meeting with the Intensive Care team?(PART 2)
• The 5 questions you need to ask when the Intensive Care team is talking about "Futility of treatment", "Withdrawal of life support" or about "Withdrawal of treatment"!
• The 5 reasons why you need to stop being intimidated by the Intensive Care team, if your loved one is critically ill in Intensive Care
• The 5 reasons why you should not trust the Intensive Care team blindly if your loved one is critically ill in Intensive Care
• Is it "SEXY" for the Intensive Care team to treat your loved one who requires a long-term stay in Intensive Care?
• The 4 ways you can overcome INSURMOUNTABLE OBSTACLES whilst your loved one is critically ill in Intensive Care!

Also, check out our "YOUR QUESTIONS ANSWERED" section

where I answer all your questions!

http://intensivecarehotline.com/category/questions/

In this week I answer another one of OUR MOST FREQUENTLY ASKED QUESTIONS

How LONG can someone stay in an INDUCED COMA?

Find the answer to this question here http://intensivecarehotline.com/long-can-someone-stay-induced-coma/

If you want your questions answered just hit reply to this email or email me at support@intensivecarehotline.com and I'll answer your questions!

Also keep an eye out for our upcoming product launch in the next couple of months! We are NOW finalizing our first product that will help Families of critically ill Patients deal with and take control of most situations in Intensive Care, even if their loved one is dying!

 The product will be an "IN-DEPTH" education product for Families of critically ill Patients in Intensive Care and a SHORTCUT for Families to control, power& influence! The focus of the education product will be on PEACE OF MIND, control, power and influence during the following situations in Intensive Care

• long-term stays in Intensive Care 
• end- of- life situations
• Family meetings
• withdrawal of treatment situations and/or perceived medical futility
• how Families need to manage doctors and nurses
• how to manage fears, frustration and emotions

 The product will be made available in Ebook, Video and Audio format so that our Customers can consume the product in their chosen medium!

 If you have any questions about our upcoming products or if you have any suggestions please let me know at support@intensivecarehotline.com

Your Friend

Patrik Hutzel

Critical Care Nurse

Founder& Editor

WWW.INTENSIVECAREHOTLINE.COM