Hi, it's Patrik Hutzel from INTENSIVECAREHOTLINE.COM , where we instantly improve the lives of Families of critically ill Patients in Intensive Care, so that you can have real power, real control and so that you can influence decision making fast, even if you're not a doctor or a nurse in Intensive Care!

In last week's blog I've shown you "Five straightforward ways to improve Family satisfaction in Intensive Care!"You can read, watch or listen to last week's update here.

In this week's blog I want to show you "5 simple habits that help you to have control, power and influence whilst your loved one is critically ill in Intensive Care!"

Fear, frustration, struggle, challenge, overwhelm and vulnerability are all feelings and thoughts that you can resonate with if your loved one has been admitted to Intensive Care for critical illness!

After all you and your Family most likely didn't expect that you would have a Family member in Intensive Care and even if you did see it coming, it's still a very painful, frightening, challenging and difficult situation to be confronted with! This is especially true if your critically ill loved one's life is in danger, if they are very unstable and/or if they are facing a long-term stay in Intensive Care!

By now you would have also discovered and noticed that the Intensive Care team doesn't necessarily want you to get too heavily involved in what they are doing. After all the Intensive Care team has their own agenda and the Intensive Care team may position your critically ill loved one's diagnosis and prognosis depending on their interests and depending on what's happening "behind the scenes".

"Behind the scenes" is really where the Intensive Care team makes decisions and comes to conclusions on how to present your critically ill loved one's prognosis and diagnosis to you. Those decisions and conclusions that the Intensive Care team makes are often not based on the clinical facts and realities and are more often than not based on

• The bed situation in Intensive Care, I.e. how many other Patients are awaiting admission into scarce, expensive and precious Intensive Care beds
• The politics, the intrigue, the power play, the psychology, the drama and the dynamics that go on "behind the scenes" that the Intensive Care team is hiding from you at any cost
• The perceived financial viability of your critically ill loved one's admission. I.e. if the Intensive Care thinks your critically ill loved one's admission to Intensive Care is putting too much pressure on their budget or if they think that your critically ill loved one's admission is not making them any money, the Intensive Care team will simply tell you that a "withdrawal or a limitation of treatment" might be "in the best interest" for your critically ill loved one
• The perception the Intensive Care team has of you and of your Family. For example if the Intensive Care team knows that you are not demanding, if you are not asking the right questions and if you are taking everything for face value that the Intensive Care team is telling you, they will perceive you as "easy prey"and you will stand no chance to even get a glimpse about the real situation that you, your Family and your critically ill loved one are facing
• How powerful, how much control and how much influence you and your Family have, based on whether you are intimidated by the perceived power of the Intensive Care team, based on how many and what type of questions you ask, based on whether you see yourself as equals to the Intensive Care team and also based on that you and your Family believe that you have control, power and influence irrespective of the situation that you are facing
• Research. Yes, based on research. You'd be surprised if I tell you that medical research is a million dollar $$$ industry and most Intensive Care Units are involved in and rely on getting 6, 7 or sometimes even 8 figure funding from Universities, Pharmaceutical companies  etc... to do medical research. If you are or if you were unaware that this is a reality then you'd better listen to this because the reality is that if the Intensive Care team is telling you that a "withdrawal or a limitation of treatment" might be "in the best interest" for your critically ill loved one, they might be telling you that they are not interested in continuing treatment for your critically ill loved one because they don't fit any of their research criteria. If on the other hand your critically ill loved one is actually going to die and the Intensive Care team is telling you that they would like to continue treatment, it may be because your critically ill loved one is fitting into a research criteria and the Intensive Care team therefore wants to continue treatment, putting your critically ill loved one through unnecessary treatment and suffering

The good news is that irrespective of what the Intensive Care team is doing and irrespective of their positioning there are a lot of things that you can do to have control, power and influence and you can start with "5 simple habits that help you to have control, power and influence whilst your loved one is critically ill in Intensive Care!"

Let's look at those habits them in detail to get you off on the right path

1.       Ask the right questions

The grim and unfortunate reality is that 99% of Families of critically ill Patients in Intensive Care don't ask the right questions. Their questions tend be weak in nature and they tend to be too general. In order to get a good grip on the situation you need to ask the right questions by informing and educating yourself quickly. 

You can do so by reading our INTENSIVECAREHOTLINE.COM  blog, you can read our "your questions answered" section and you can just go to our "clinical pictures" section and click on the clinical picture that your critically ill loved one has been admitted with. Make it a habit to ask the right questions. Don't be afraid to ask difficult and challenging questions, because they are the questions that will give you not only the most insights, but they will also give you the biggest leverage when it comes to control, power and influence in this challenging situation

 2.       Don't be intimidated

Another very unfortunate reality that I have encountered over and over again in more than 15 years Intensive Care nursing in three different countries is that 99% of Families of critically ill Patients are intimidated by the perceived power of the Intensive Care team. You need to stop being intimidated by the Intensive Care team right now and you need to start challenging the Intensive Care team, irrespective of how much you think you know about what's going on. By you being intimidated by the Intensive Care team, you are basically handing over any level of control, power and influence you might have had over to the Intensive Care team on a platter...

The question remains, how can you stop being intimidated by the Intensive Care team?

 3.       Change YOUR body language

In order to stop being intimidated by the Intensive Care team, you and your Family need to change your body language as a starting point.

I bet that from the minute you found out that your loved one has been admitted to Intensive Care your body language and your body posture has changed to something unhealthy like

• Crossed arms
• Neck and face down
• Slumped shoulders
• Avoiding eye contact

Those are all signs that are normal when we are faced with a challenging situation. The challenge here is to recognize that it's happening and then change it. I bet you feel far more powerful, in control and influential when you've changed your body language. And I can promise you that the Intensive Care team will notice that your body language is different. They will notice that your body language says "yes, I can deal with this challenge and I'm not intimidated by what's happening and I'm certainly not intimidated by the Intensive Care team, because I have control, power and influence!"

Make eye contact with the Intensive Care team at all times, look them in the eye and tell them one way or another that you are not intimidated. Your body language is so important and as some statistics and research suggests, 7% we communicate is with words and more than 70% we communicate with our body language. That's powerful stuff if you know how to use it...

 4.       Don't make common mistakes Families of critically ill Patients are making

CONTINUE READING here http://intensivecarehotline.com/5-simple-habits-that-help-you-to-have-control-power-and-influence-whilst-your-loved-one-is-critically-ill-in-intensive-care/

Also, check out our "YOUR QUESTIONS ANSWERED" section

where I answer all your questions!

http://intensivecarehotline.com/category/questions/

In this week I answer another question from one of our readers and the question this week is

My son has Diffuse axonal BRAIN DAMAGE and now they want to REMOVE his Tracheostomy! Help!

Find the answer to this question here http://intensivecarehotline.com/my-son-has-diffuse-axonal-brain-damage-and-now-they-want-to-remove-his-tracheostomy-help/

If you want your questions answered just hit reply to this email or email me at support@intensivecarehotline.com and I'll answer your questions!

 Also keep an eye out for our upcoming product launch in the next couple of months! We are NOW finalizing our first product that will help Families of critically ill Patients deal with and take control of most situations in Intensive Care, even if their loved one is dying!

 The product will be an "IN-DEPTH" education product for Families of critically ill Patients in Intensive Care and a SHORTCUT for Families to control, power& influence! The focus of the education product will be on 

• long-term stays in Intensive Care 
• end- of- life situations
• Family meetings
• withdrawal of treatment situations and/or perceived medical futility
• how Families need to manage doctors and nurses
• how to manage fears, frustration and emotions

 The product will be made available in Ebook, Video and Audio format so that our Customers can consume the product in their chosen medium!

 If you have any questions about our upcoming products or if you have any suggestions please let me know at support@intensivecarehotline.com

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