What you need to do if your loved one is dying in Intensive Care(part one)
Published: Tue, 05/28/13
approaching their end of life in Intensive Care your world has
probably justnturned upside down. Maybe you did see it coming or
maybe it came out of the blue. Every case is different of course
and yet I believe that there are some similarities when it comes to
death and end of life in Intensive Care.
No matter the situation you are in, I believe that there are a few
things that all families want if their loved one is dying in
Intensive Care, such as peace of mind that all the right decisions
have been made along the way.
Sometimes time can be your enemy and in some situations your
critically ill loved one may approach their end of life quickly
and unexpectedly where it might take you and your family a long
time before you can ever find peace of mind.
Also, keep in mind that the situation you and your critically ill
loved are facing is what I would like to refer to as a "once in a
lifetime" situation. You therefore want to have things done in a
certain way so that you can feel that critical peace of mind for
you and for your family.
If you have the time in your situation, how do you want to approach
the end of life situation of your critically ill loved one?
Having been involved in many end- of- life
situations in Intensive Care myself, I have found that every
situation is different and requires an individual approach.
Some families are happy to let go of their loved one quickly
whereas other families need more time to say goodbye and come to
terms with the end of life of their loved one. Neither approach is
right or wrong or good or bad. It's very individual and it has
to be respected.
It's critical that you bring your views into the discussion with
the Intensive Care team on how the end of life situation of
your loved one needs to look like from your perspective. Also,
don't think that just because the Intensive Care team is dealing
with end of life frequently that they can master those challenging
situations without difficulties. Even though Patients in Intensive
Care frequently approach their end of life, no Intensive Care Unit
can claim to be perfect when it comes to end of life care.
Having worked in many Intensive Care Units in three different
countries, I believe that there is a lot of room for improvement,
also because every end of life situation is very challenging for
the Intensive Care team as well. Some Intensive Care Units do it
better than others. Some individual health professionals in
Intensive Care do it better than others. Some Families and some
individuals within the Family deal with the situation better
than others.
I personally believe that being involved in end of life care in
Intensive Care is nothing short of being a privilege. This
statement might come as a shock to you, however I can tell you that
being involved in the last phase and the last stages of a person's
life can be a huge burden but also a huge privilege.
Generally
emotions are running high and as a health professional you have to
manage your own emotions, the emotions of your colleagues and the
emotions of the family who is just losing a loved one in Intensive
Care.
Strong emotions can be both, a good thing if they are directed in
the right channels and emotions can be a bad thing if they are not
managed correctly and if they are taking over.
But emotions are a healthy sign in general. It shows that you are
fully alive and that you are not disconnected from what is
happening all around you. It's healthy to show your sadness and
your grief if your loved one is approaching their end of life in
Intensive Care.
It's also a healthy sign that if you want to be involved in the end
of life situation and it's healthy to have your say and to ask
questions. Again, just because health professionals in Intensive
Care are involved in end-of-life situations regularly and often
doesn't mean that they "know it all" or that they do it impeccably.
Some Intensive Care Units may do it well, others may not. Some
individuals in Intensive Care may do it well, others may not.
I think that one important part for you and for your family is to
look for your own truth in this challenging situation and also look
for some meaning if your critically ill loved one is dying in
Intensive Care. Maybe you can find some positives when you are
looking for meaning and truth.
Truth is a very thin concept, especially in an environment such as
Intensive Care. One minute you might get told that your
critically ill loved one is stable and the next minute you might
get told that your loved one is not going to survive their stay in
Intensive Care. The reality is that things vary and things change.
In next week's blog I'll tell you why it's critical that you find
meaning in adversity and I will also give you five action steps on
how to deal with the end of life situation in Intensive Care.
You can email me your questions at
support@intensivecarehotline.com and I answer every single email
personally!
Sincerely,
your Friend
Patrik
Patrik Hutzel
Critical Care Nurse
Founder& Editor
INTENSIVECAREHOTLINE.COM
support@intensivecarehotline.com